Dude....I'm calling the headquarters for Cracker Jacks

(I have a blog stalker....his name is Gene. He complained to me tonight that I hadn't done my part in entertaining him in his moment of boredom by updating my blog. This is for you, Gene....)

What ever happened to the really GOOD toys in a bag of Cracker Jacks? This is a question worth exploring after my sweet tooth won over my best efforts of watching calories tonight. As I happily tore in to a bag of Cracker Jacks, my excitement was quickly snuffed by a small booklet claiming to be my "toy surprise". As I further investigated my winnings, I decided this prize was way too much work for a simple piece of paper with a picture of a shark on it. After a series of detaching/folding/pushing/bending I was supposed to end up with something claiming to be a "smart mouth."

Instructions:
1. Detach prize and fold each corner toward you along the dotted lines.
2. Next, fold the prize in half, folding it away from you.
3. Then, push the center triangles forward to open the slit.
4. Push backward at points A and B. Then, hold the prize by the side edges and gently push toward the center to move the mouth.

Huh?

I didn't realize I was going to need a masters in engineering with a minor in origami to play with my toy surprise.

Whatever happened to little plastic frogs or miniature magnifying glasses or metal soldiers or magic tricks? THOSE are the real toy surprises of yesteryear. But, alas! They have slowly been replaced with smart mouths or tattoos that if you are lucky will only require a small amount of spit and will resemble a 3 day old bruise after you rub that sucker for 10 minutes on the back of your hand. And those are the "best" ones. I guess with Nintendo and XBox and Wii there is no need for Cracker Jack to overextend itself trying to compete with these toy giants.

But still.

I guess I should have just had some M&Ms....