As you can imagine

This has made it to the tippy-top of my Wish List. I've already started making a list for supplies.

MUST.HAVE.THIS.

Someone REALLY should have asked a woman....

My work location has recently changed. We upgraded to a huge, fancy new compound. Yes, compound. I chose that word on purpose. I mean, they don't make us drink Kool Aid or anything but it is heavily gated/guarded/watched 24/7/365.

One of the great things about our new digs is the fancy new control room where I work. It's very shiny and new and clean and wonderful. There are lots of buttons to push and graphic displays to ogle over and big screens to view the 27 different windows of data we have to look at.

But there are some weird things about it. Design flaws if you will.

Like the recent episode that took place when a light bulb needed to be changed.



Seriously, people. No INDOOR light bulb should EVER require a hydraulic hoist in order to be changed. If they would have just asked a woman for an opinion on the size/scale/design of this room she would have immediately asked the question, "It's nice and all, but who is going to change those light bulbs?"



We don't even do light bulbs that require a chair so I'm pretty sure this little detail would NOT have gone unnoticed during the design phase.

FAIL.

Sleeping Women....romantic movie version vs. real life

I was listening to Garth Brooks on the way to the dentist the other day. Don't hate. I like country music. What about it?

ANYWAY this beautiful, romantic melody came on called "If Tomorrow Never Comes".



Let's not get caught up in the fact that this song COULD have been written to his daughter, or his mother, or his wife (who all appear in this video)...his wife, who he ended up cheating on with another Country Music star, Trisha Yearwood (whom he later married)...let's just focus on the words at the very beginning of this beautiful love song:

Sometimes late at night
I lie awake and watch her sleeping
She's lost in peaceful dreams
So I turn out the lights and lay there in the dark

Every romantic movie I've ever seen where the leading lady is sleeping always has her looking like she just layed down after getting home from a day at the salon. Beautiful and angelic. Makeup perfect and not a hair out of place...unless it is perfectly tossled around the pillow. And couples will always wake up gazing at each other and immediately embrace in some long passionate kiss. Something to behold, for sure. And this song certainly brings that vision to one's mind wouldn't you say? I would. And that's all that matters since this is my blog.

However, reality is much more harsh. Not very romantic at all most of the time.

 

Drool, snoring, morning breath and bed head. That's reality.

Well, it's my reality.

Well, it's my husband's reality.

Irony in its rawest form

My daughter and I were having a conversation last week about the state of our family. We discussed some history of things that have happened in the last 6-7 years. For me it was nice that it was a conversation about things that have come to pass. Our little family has had some...ummmm..."challenges" over those past 6-7 years.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. You've heard that expression, yes? Yes. Me, too. I've actually lived that expression. Is that even possible? To "live" an expression?

I digress. Back to this conversation I was having with Lindsay...

We had talked through much of the previous years and had a brief moment of silence when suddenly she looked at me and said in all seriousness, "Well, Mom, we survived. And we are better and everyone is healthy."

I hesitated at this remark. I looked at her, looked around and laughed. And then she laughed. We laughed together for about 5 minutes at the irony of her statement because this was the setting at the time of our conversation:

 

Yes, that's a hospital bed.

The Wizard of Oz....A classic retold....Part 3

In case you missed them....Part 1 and Part 2

Entire cast of characters provided by Madame Alexander Wizard of Oz Collection.

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Dorothy was still trying to get used to all of this color blinding her poor sepia-trained eyes. Then trying to deal with that nasty green woman. Ugh! What's with all the threats and stuff? She was an innocent victim in all of this witch business. It was giving her a headache. She really needed an ibuprofen or some caffeine.

Or maybe she just needed to go home.

"I just want to go home. Back to the land of colorless people and flat, never-ending treeless land. Boring home. This is over-stimulating every sense I have and it's making me sick. How do I get HOOOOOME?!"

Toto was very tired of all this whining. He didn't want to go back to Kansas. He was liking all of this positive attention. Well, except for that green witch who reeked of cats.

Glenda sighed. Whatever. So the brat wants to go home. Let her. She was, after all, taking away some of the attention usually saved for herself and the colorful little people. She certainly could not stand for this lack of attention for any extended period of time.

"See those yellow bricks? Well, it's actually a long, long road that will take you to a wise and mysterious man who most certainly has the answer you need to get you home."

 

Dorothy looked over and saw a winding yellow brick road. A very long, winding, uneven, yellow brick road. She sighed. It was going to be a long day because not only did she have a marathon of a walk to accomplish, she had to do it in these horribly uncomfortable red sparkly shoes. Who walks that far in HEELS? Ugh! And why was this supposedly good witch wanting her to do something that would no doubt require a lifetime of visits to the podiatrist?? If she was really good she would just fly her around in that pink bubble of hers.

"So I just follow this yellow brick road? And that will get me home?"

It had no sooner come out of Dorothy's mouth when all the colorful little people started chanting "follow the yellow brick road" and then broke out in song. It was as if they had rehearsed this over and over and over just waiting for some fool to come crashing down in a house in to their little existence.

"I've gotta get out of here. I'm becoming delirious. Let's go, Toto!!"

Toto was more than happy to oblige. As much as he loved all of this attention he really needed to find a fire hydrant. Or some patch of grass. Or both. And he really hoped Dorothy had some small baggies to clean up after him.

It wasn't long after she got started that Dorothy came upon a fork in the yellow brick road. When pondering which way to go she heard a voice that didn't know any better which way to go than she did.

"But there isn't anybody around but this silly looking straw man."

 

But Toto knew exactly where the voice had come from. It WAS from the straw man. How dumb did this dude have to be not to know which way to go? Certainly he was familiar with his own neighborhood.

"Hey, girly. Can you get me down from here? I need to stretch...and I promise I'll show you the real way to go if you do."

Dorothy thought about it for exactly 2 seconds. Again, Toto was alarmed at this girl's lack of stranger-danger awareness. But as the dude fell on the ground and flounced around like an idiot he decided there really was no harm.

"Where are you headed?" he asked the dynamic duo.

"To find some wise and wonderful man that will tell me how to get home."

"Do you think I could come with you? I could really use some brains and if he is as wise as you say maybe he could hook a scarecrow up."

Scarecrow? Toto could not believe his flea-bitten ears. This guy wasn't scary at all. Maybe he COULD use some brains to figure out how to do his job better. What could be the harm?

"Sure! I could use the company!" replied Dorothy.

And off they skipped own the beaten yellow brick road. Dorothy was really hoping they didn't have much further to go. Especially since this scarecrow dude wasn't a very good walker. It was going to be a long journey if she had to constantly help him up.

Little did she know.

To be continued....

Dear Blog,

Hi there. How are you? I hope you are doing well. What? You are lonely? I'm sorry. I suppose that is my own fault since I have, after all, been MIA for almost 3 months. What's that? Where in the world have I been? I've been home. And at work. Took a small vacation with my mom and oldest son. But you know what? Mostly I've just been focusing my energies on some things that needed to take a higher priority than the internet. I'm sorry it made you lonely. It kind of made me lonely, too, since I really enjoy coming here and rambling on and on about things that are completely insignificant. It's a good diversion from reality and a wonderful little stress release.

What? I must not have any stress since I don't need you for an outlet?

Yeah. We'll go with that.

It was good to chat with you again. Let's have lunch tomorrow. You seem hungry....and I have a story I need to finish.

Hugs & Kisses!!

The Wizard of Oz....A classic retold....Part 2

If you missed Part 1, read it here.

Entire cast of characters provided by Madame Alexander Wizard of Oz Collection.

*********************************

"It's a Twister!"

 

So there was, like, this HUGE storm. And it was very scary for Dorothy because Uncle Henry and Auntie Em locked her out of the storm cellar. They were still pretty peeved about her running away. So she ran in the house to try and get in the bathtub but hit her head. When she woke up she was dazed and confused.

"Toto, I've got a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore."

 

Toto didn't care where he was. He was happy to be SOMEWHERE different. And over the rainbow seemed like a happy, colorful place to be. Away from that hormonal mean Miss Nasty-what's-her-face. He was just pretty intrigued by all these small, strangly-dressed people.

 

 

Just as Dorothy and Toto were admiring all this color, a floating sphere lands in the middle of everyone. A beautiful but obviously self-centered, attention-seeking blonde appears. She takes one look at Dorothy and knows she has nothing to worry about. I mean, who wears blue gingham without sparkles? And that mousey brown hair? Puh-leeeze!

 

"Are you a good witch or a bad witch?" She asks Dorothy. But she already knows the answer. She is a bad witch. Good witches have a much better sense of style.

"I'm not a witch at all. Witches are mean and ugly...like this mean and ugly Menopausal woman back home. She is, like, sooooo nasty. I think she needs to take some natural vitamin supplements or something because her moods are...."

"Ummm...EXCUSE ME! I'm Glenda the Good Witch and I'm the most beautiful creature ever. And I sparkle more than any vampire you've ever seen. Besides my natural beauty I'm also beaming with personality and humility. Don't you think?"

"Oh, I'm sorry! Yes, you are quite beautiful!"

"I know, right?"

 

After all the admiration and forced complimenting came to an end, Glenda explained to Dorothy that she must be a bad witch because of her horrible fashion sense. Oh, and because her space-vehicle-house landed on a rotten witch.

"Yep, she's dead."

 

"I'm not a witch! I'm just plain old Dorothy Gale from Kansas. I don't mind my Aunt and Uncle very well and I cause lots of trouble for them by letting my dog chase cats." Despite her pleadings, Dorothy couldn't believe it when she looked down and those sparkly shoes had suddenly appeared on her own feet. Red? RED? I'm not red shoe material, she thought. I'm from the land of sepia tones. Toto was not impressed by any of this.

Just then a huge cloud of black smoke appeared. After it cleared a woman, who clearly had been exposed to copper for far too long, got all up in Dorothy's grill about killing her sister or something. Apparently she wanted those silly red shoes because they went better with black than blue gingham.

 

The shoes wouldn't come off. Apparently there was some magical spell attached to them. The nasty green lady was plenty pissed off about this and called Dorothy pretty, referenced Toto as a little dog, then disappeared in a huff. The mean greenie seemed familiar to Dorothy but she couldn't quite place where she knew her. And how would she know her, anyway?

But Toto knew. He could smell her cats....

To Be Continued....

Remember that OTHER blog I have?

Yeah. I update that one, too. But unless you scrapbook, are nosey, or just plain bored of all the sillyness on THIS blog you probably haven't ventured over there much. But there is an event that I didn't want anyone to miss out on! Check it out!!

TEXAS SCRAPFEST

Woe is the Shift Worker

That's right. Woe is me. Please proceed through this post with caution. Heavy whining ahead.

I'm a shift worker. I know. Big deal, right? I hear your voices. "We all have to pull our weight around here, Missy. Suck it up." Whatever.

I don't normally complain or try to gain sympathy over the fact I work 12 hour shifts, rotating between days and nights. I CHOSE this line of work after all. 6:00 to 6:00, people. Work 4 days. Have a day off. Work 3 nights. Have 3 days off. Which is really like 2-1/2 days off because I'm actually working midnight until 6:00 a.m. on my scheduled "day off" and then sleeping until the middle of the day. But I digress.

And did you actually follow that anyway? I've been a shift worker for over 7 years and my husband is just finally getting a handle on my 6 week rotation. I just gave you a preview of the first 2 weeks. I don't expect you to get it in one post.

One long-winded, whining post.

Shift workers have all kinds of tricks that they use to make sleeping during the day easier.

• Blackout curtains of some kind are almost a necessity whether it be in the form of some expensive hotel-like blackout curtains or a sleeping bag nailed over the window. Whatever works. We aren't picky. My husband suggested lining the window with tin foil then putting up the blinds/curtains. I declined because I didn't want the neighbors thinking I'm running a crack lab here. I already come and go at strange hours of the day/night. Notneed to up the suspicion radar.
• White noise: There are many options here. A fan, special radio-type devices that play different sounds, TV on low, etc. Just a note here....barking dogs, ringing doorbells and garbage trucks do not fit in the category of white noise. They fit in to the category of "somebody better stop that right now before they die" category. Remember this.
• Sleep aids: The majority of the shift workers I know personally who take any sleep aid take a natural supplement called Melatonin. Sometimes when desperate to just get some extra shut-eye popping a Tylenol PM will do the trick.

"Riveting, Cheri. Who cares?" I told you all of that to tell you this. I've been on night shifts the last few days. Well, nights. Whatever. And my attempt at sleep was thwarted. The house next door is getting a new roof. Not just some new shingles. A whole. New. Roof.

Let me paint this picture a little better for you. My bedroom is on the second story. On the same side of the house as the neighbor getting a new roof. The roof of a single story home. It would be easy to invite the roofers through the window for a nice cold drink. Sweet.

Background TV noise. Check. Nice dark room. Check. Sleep? Can't quite check that off my list. Skill saws, nail guns, yelling. Putting on a new roof is noisy, people.

So after the first day (and approximately 3 hours of sleep before I worked my night shift) I decided I would go sleep in the bedroom on the other side of the house. I fell asleep quickly. Only to be awakened by a large DOG barking at the house on the OTHER side of us 2 hours later....non stop....and I could hear the skill saws, nail guns and yelling from the roofers, albeit slightly muffled from the previous day. But when you are just completely annoyed and sleep deprived you can hear water dripping in the kitchen sink downstairs. The sense of hearing becomes like a freakin' radar and NOTHING is missed. It's like my ear turned in to a Venus Fly Trap for noise. It makes me cranky, people. Very cranky. My co-workers love me when I haven't slept.

The roofers stopped working at 1:30. So I went back to my own bedroom and got a couple more hours of sleep. Before my night shift. Of 12 hours. At night.

I've got 2 days off now. Guess what I'll be...... zzzzzzzzzzzzz......... zzzzzzzzzzz........... zzzzzzzzzz

The Wizard of Oz....A classic retold....Part 1

Entire cast of characters provided by Madame Alexander Wizard of Oz Collection.

One time there was this chick named Dorothy Gale. She was pretty pale and had a bad dog named Toto. He liked to chase cats. One time he, like, chased the town bitty's cat for about the 1,000th time. Her name was Miss Gulch. She was totally mad! They ran home when she yelled.

"Auntie Em! Uncle Henry! OMG! Help me!" she cried.

Uncle Henry was tired of all this drama, drama, drama! Where was this girl's mother, anyway? Whatever. Let her dog be in trouble. He really just wanted to retire. Auntie Em was tired, too, from counting chickens. Do you even KNOW how hard it is to count all those silly little yellow chirping chickens? Sheesh! There was no time for stupid teenage drama. "Go play with the ranch hands and just stay out of trouble for, like, 2 seconds!"

Miss Gulch came to the farm to take Toto away. She was angry all the time because she had a big nose and was ugly and had too many cats. "Give me that dog or the cops are comin'!"

"No! You are mean and ugly! You suck!"

Uncle Henry rolled his eyes. He was just sooooo tired of all this drama. Why couldn't she just go sneak a sip from the copper still like all the other rebellious teenagers? "Dorothy, give her the mutt. She makes large campaign contributions so she has the law on her side. Besides, the dog chow is gettin' expensive."

Auntie Em was tired of counting chickens and just couldn't take it anymore. Plus she was menopausal. "Elmira Gulch! If this wasn't a rated PG movie I would tell you what a beeotch you are!"

Fade to music *Da da tada da da daaaa...da da tada da daaaa*

"I'm taking this dog to the pound. He will never chase my cat again. I will be able to conquer the prize as the crazy cat lady once and for all! Mwhahahaha!!!"

Toto had other ideas. "I'm outta here. And when I get back to the farm I'm totally bitin' that Henry dude in the shin."

"OMG! Toto! You've, like, totally come home! We better make like a banana and split this joint before that ugly broad comes back!"

 

So the brat ran away. Then she decided to go in to some complete strange man's magic wagon. What? Yep. No stranger-danger lessons for Dorothy. But he made her realize home ain't such a rough gig by tricking her in to thinking her Auntie Em was sick. He was kind of a jerk because there was a big storm coming and he just ran her off right in to it.

To be continued....

Nobody likes a stale blog....

So I'm reposting a favorite from my archives. Enjoy!

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THESE ARE A FEW OF
MY FAVORITE THINGS
Originally posted on September 19, 2008

I'm big on nostalgia. Remember the whole Wizard of Oz thing? Yeah. *sigh* Anyway, I love to look around on the internet for remnants of childhood things from my past. It's always fun to run across that one special thing you remember so fondly from your younger years. And seeing them up for auction makes my heart pound and my brow sweat slightly. Because I want them. I really, really do! All the images you see in this post are from around the world wide web....and they are images of toys/games that I actually had growing up. *sigh*

I go back in time often to think about all kinds of things from my childhood:
Television shows
Commercials
Food
Music
Clothes

But my absolute favorite things to think about and search out on the internet are toys and games. Mostly because those are the specific things that make me feel young again, know what I mean? I loved my toys, people! And games....oh, the games my family had!! *sigh* Those are some wonderful memories.

I *sigh* a lot when I'm walking down memory lane.

And we all have our favorites. The ones we remember distinctly. The ones you can actually still smell if you close your eyes and think hard enough....or can at least recreate the smell by going to any toy department and smelling all the new toys. (Be careful nobody sees you doing that. You are bound to be questioned.)

And my favorites? Well.....barbie certainly topped my list. I had a ton of them...and she was well dressed and lived a life of luxury!








And before the "Kelly" barbie...there were Liddle Kiddles. I had tons of these things, but those pictured are the ones I distinctly remember. I still have the pink-haired one, but her pretty smelly hair has long since been replaced by the lovely smell of vintage...and one foot has been chewed off by someone or something. I'm not playing innocent here. I chewed on stuff. It totally could have been me.






And there were flatsy dolls....





And my other dolls (I liked dolls. What about it?) .....





And the games....lots and lots and lotsandlotsandlots of games....








But BY FAR my most coveted memory of all....is this:




Let me just explain Baby Go Bye-Bye for you. First...how cute is that little car she cruises around in?! Do you see the little butterfly on the hood? That's what you use to wind up the car. And this was no plain 'ol forward motion car. This little sucker swerved and circled all over the place and you never knew exactly where it was gonna go bye bye to. I LOVED THIS DOLL!! (Can you feel my excitement?) And the doll itself was too cute for words. But here's some words anyway. Her little head bobbled a little.....so as the car was zig-zagging all over the place, her little head just bobbed around with her cute little pigtails and rosey litte cheeks. I LOVED THIS DOLL!!

And I had my favorite childhood doll until I was 24...then someone stole a bunch of things from our garage and she was never to be seen again. Baby really did go bye-bye. *sigh*

I sigh a lot when I think of my Baby Go Bye-Bye.

This one is actually for sale on Ebay right now:



Box and all. It's mint. I'm very tempted to bid on it. I bid on one just like this a couple of years ago....and almost won. I would have, actually, if I would have been willing to up my max bid to TWO HUNDRED FREAKIN' DOLLARS!!! And this one is certain to go that high. Maybe I'll bid on one without the box. But it MUST be accompanied with the car. It's not the same without the car.

Childhood nostalgia shouldn't be priced so high. *sigh*

For now I suppose I'll just keep surfing the net and watching auctions. I know one day I'll have it. I must. My husband isn't opposed to it....as long as I bid and win on HIS favorite:




Must be a mid-life crisis. I'm sure we'll both get over it soon.