Thursday, August 5, 2010

The Wizard of Oz....A classic retold....Part 2

If you missed Part 1, read it here.

Entire cast of characters provided by Madame Alexander Wizard of Oz Collection.

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"It's a Twister!"

 

So there was, like, this HUGE storm. And it was very scary for Dorothy because Uncle Henry and Auntie Em locked her out of the storm cellar. They were still pretty peeved about her running away. So she ran in the house to try and get in the bathtub but hit her head. When she woke up she was dazed and confused.

"Toto, I've got a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore."

 

Toto didn't care where he was. He was happy to be SOMEWHERE different. And over the rainbow seemed like a happy, colorful place to be. Away from that hormonal mean Miss Nasty-what's-her-face. He was just pretty intrigued by all these small, strangly-dressed people.

 
 

Just as Dorothy and Toto were admiring all this color, a floating sphere lands in the middle of everyone. A beautiful but obviously self-centered, attention-seeking blonde appears. She takes one look at Dorothy and knows she has nothing to worry about. I mean, who wears blue gingham without sparkles? And that mousey brown hair? Puh-leeeze!

 

"Are you a good witch or a bad witch?" She asks Dorothy. But she already knows the answer. She is a bad witch. Good witches have a much better sense of style.

"I'm not a witch at all. Witches are mean and ugly...like this mean and ugly Menopausal woman back home. She is, like, sooooo nasty. I think she needs to take some natural vitamin supplements or something because her moods are...."

"Ummm...EXCUSE ME! I'm Glenda the Good Witch and I'm the most beautiful creature ever. And I sparkle more than any vampire you've ever seen. Besides my natural beauty I'm also beaming with personality and humility. Don't you think?"

"Oh, I'm sorry! Yes, you are quite beautiful!"

"I know, right?"

 

After all the admiration and forced complimenting came to an end, Glenda explained to Dorothy that she must be a bad witch because of her horrible fashion sense. Oh, and because her space-vehicle-house landed on a rotten witch.

"Yep, she's dead."

 

"I'm not a witch! I'm just plain old Dorothy Gale from Kansas. I don't mind my Aunt and Uncle very well and I cause lots of trouble for them by letting my dog chase cats." Despite her pleadings, Dorothy couldn't believe it when she looked down and those sparkly shoes had suddenly appeared on her own feet. Red? RED? I'm not red shoe material, she thought. I'm from the land of sepia tones. Toto was not impressed by any of this.

Just then a huge cloud of black smoke appeared. After it cleared a woman, who clearly had been exposed to copper for far too long, got all up in Dorothy's grill about killing her sister or something. Apparently she wanted those silly red shoes because they went better with black than blue gingham.

 

The shoes wouldn't come off. Apparently there was some magical spell attached to them. The nasty green lady was plenty pissed off about this and called Dorothy pretty, referenced Toto as a little dog, then disappeared in a huff. The mean greenie seemed familiar to Dorothy but she couldn't quite place where she knew her. And how would she know her, anyway?

But Toto knew. He could smell her cats....

To Be Continued....




7 comments:

  1. I'm on the edge of my seat for part 3! I thought of you today. I saw a green Honda Element today. All green. Just the right shade. And the vanity license plate read "Elphaba."

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  2. More sparkly than any vampire! LOVE IT! I saw these dolls in a store the other day and just burst out laughing. My kids were so embarrassed! Can't wait for part 3..

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  3. Seriously, you just kill me.

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  4. You are killing me! And if you come across a good deal on the premenopausal-makemefeelallhappy-vitamins, please send some my way!!

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  5. you crack me up!! and by the way, i'm offended that i'm not on your "people i stalk" list over there --->
    btw, you need to check the blog, i have an update i think you need to read ;)

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  6. OMG you're killing me! I love how everything went from black and white to full blown color....just like the MOVIE! Also? I loved this: "I'm from the land of sepia tones." I can't wait to use that one on my friends!

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