Monday, November 8, 2010

The Wizard of Oz....A classic retold....Part 3

In case you missed them....Part 1 and Part 2

Entire cast of characters provided by Madame Alexander Wizard of Oz Collection.


Dorothy was still trying to get used to all of this color blinding her poor sepia-trained eyes. Then trying to deal with that nasty green woman. Ugh! What's with all the threats and stuff? She was an innocent victim in all of this witch business. It was giving her a headache. She really needed an ibuprofen or some caffeine.

Or maybe she just needed to go home.

"I just want to go home. Back to the land of colorless people and flat, never-ending treeless land. Boring home. This is over-stimulating every sense I have and it's making me sick. How do I get HOOOOOME?!"

Toto was very tired of all this whining. He didn't want to go back to Kansas. He was liking all of this positive attention. Well, except for that green witch who reeked of cats.

Glenda sighed. Whatever. So the brat wants to go home. Let her. She was, after all, taking away some of the attention usually saved for herself and the colorful little people. She certainly could not stand for this lack of attention for any extended period of time.

"See those yellow bricks? Well, it's actually a long, long road that will take you to a wise and mysterious man who most certainly has the answer you need to get you home."


Dorothy looked over and saw a winding yellow brick road. A very long, winding, uneven, yellow brick road. She sighed. It was going to be a long day because not only did she have a marathon of a walk to accomplish, she had to do it in these horribly uncomfortable red sparkly shoes. Who walks that far in HEELS? Ugh! And why was this supposedly good witch wanting her to do something that would no doubt require a lifetime of visits to the podiatrist?? If she was really good she would just fly her around in that pink bubble of hers.

"So I just follow this yellow brick road? And that will get me home?"

It had no sooner come out of Dorothy's mouth when all the colorful little people started chanting "follow the yellow brick road" and then broke out in song. It was as if they had rehearsed this over and over and over just waiting for some fool to come crashing down in a house in to their little existence.

"I've gotta get out of here. I'm becoming delirious. Let's go, Toto!!"

Toto was more than happy to oblige. As much as he loved all of this attention he really needed to find a fire hydrant. Or some patch of grass. Or both. And he really hoped Dorothy had some small baggies to clean up after him.

It wasn't long after she got started that Dorothy came upon a fork in the yellow brick road. When pondering which way to go she heard a voice that didn't know any better which way to go than she did.

"But there isn't anybody around but this silly looking straw man."


But Toto knew exactly where the voice had come from. It WAS from the straw man. How dumb did this dude have to be not to know which way to go? Certainly he was familiar with his own neighborhood.

"Hey, girly. Can you get me down from here? I need to stretch...and I promise I'll show you the real way to go if you do."

Dorothy thought about it for exactly 2 seconds. Again, Toto was alarmed at this girl's lack of stranger-danger awareness. But as the dude fell on the ground and flounced around like an idiot he decided there really was no harm.

"Where are you headed?" he asked the dynamic duo.

"To find some wise and wonderful man that will tell me how to get home."

"Do you think I could come with you? I could really use some brains and if he is as wise as you say maybe he could hook a scarecrow up."

Scarecrow? Toto could not believe his flea-bitten ears. This guy wasn't scary at all. Maybe he COULD use some brains to figure out how to do his job better. What could be the harm?

"Sure! I could use the company!" replied Dorothy.

And off they skipped own the beaten yellow brick road. Dorothy was really hoping they didn't have much further to go. Especially since this scarecrow dude wasn't a very good walker. It was going to be a long journey if she had to constantly help him up.

Little did she know.

To be continued....


  1. I always suspected Toto was the smartest of the bunch.

  2. geez it's about time! I've been biting my nails here waiting for the next part!


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