The Wizard of Oz....A classic retold....Part 5

In case you missed them....Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 and Part 4.

Entire cast of characters provided by my Madame Alexander Wizard of Oz Collection.

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Oh, this road! It was soooooo long! And Dorothy was getting very cranky and tired from all the crying and carrying on from the Tinman and the idiotic questions from the Scarecrow. Toto was getting on her nerves, too. He was misbehaving from the lack of attention. He actually peed on the Tinman's leg. Which made the Tinman cry. Which made Dorothy have to oil him up after he rusted.

She just wanted to go home. What possible motive could that sparkly, pink witch have to make her walk all this way. Maybe she should have befriended the nasty cat-smelling witch instead. She possibly could have been home by now.

Dorothy's thoughts were immediately interrupted as she realized they had walked in to a scary forest. Dark and creepy. The tinman started crying because he was scared. Schweet. More oiling. More explaining to the Scarecrow what she was doing.

"ROOOOAARRRR!!!"

Holy cow! What in the world was THAT?

"RRROOAAARRRR!!" And out popped the cutest little lion Dorothy had ever seen. Oh, he was just adorable!!

Well, Toto wasn't having any of this. Nobody but nobody was cuter than he was. So what if he was having issues with his backside. Scooting wasn't at all adorable but he could still perk his ears up cuter than ever. What was Dorothy thinking?

Toto ran up to the Lion and started barking his head off. As loud as he could. Nobody was going to be cuter than him and take what little attention Dorothy had left for him away.

"Roar?"

The lion cowered away and started sulking behind a tree. Dorothy stopped dead in her tracks. This simply could not be happening.

"Not another one. I simply am not mature enough to handle another high maintenance companion. I'm a teenager, for crying out loud. I've got enough of my own issues! But whatever. I might as well drag him with me. He needs therapy, obviously. I can't give it to him."

So off the mixed up, emotional, needy group went. Skipping along the yellow brick road to find the wise and wonderful dude who was going to make them all better.

They had no idea they were being followed.

to be continued.....

An optical illusion

Either my husband is 2 feet tall....or this is the largest umbrella lawn chair in the world.  You decide.

Some observations while having a bit of insomnia

1. My dogs never have insomnia. And they don't care if I do. They sleep all night...and most of the day.
2. There doesn't seem to be anything off limits in the refrigerator.
3. I think I pee more in the middle of the night. How do I ever have uninterrupted sleep?
4. My cats never have insomnia. They like it when I do because they know if they keep meowing I will give them milk to shut them up.
5. There is some incredibly bad tv on at 2:00 a.m.
6. I never realized how much I love my dvr.
7. My husband never has insomnia. He doesn't care if I do as long as I leave the bedroom with it.
8. The only thing really going through my brain is that I need to sleep. And it makes me not sleep thinking about all the minutes ticking away as I keep trying to convince myself to sleep.
9. Do you even know how good a piece of meatloaf is rolled up in a tortilla? It's not. I've tried it. Please see #2.
10. Warm milk does NOT, in fact, make a person sleepy. Well, this person anyway. My cats take it warm or cold. They aren't picky.
11. My couch is seeing more of me than my bed. This is disturbing.
12. After months of this non-sleeping torture I've decided I know what the cure is....apparently I need to eat more dog food.

The Wizard of Oz....A classic retold....Part 4

I know you've been on the edge of your seats waiting for this next installment. Or not. So I won't keep you waiting any longer!

In case you missed them....Part 1, Part 2 and Part 3.

Entire cast of characters provided by my Madame Alexander Wizard of Oz Collection.

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Oh, what a long way Dorothy had already walked! Toto had run off a couple of times chasing squirrels and she was getting very tired of the Scarecrow and all his mindless ramblings. It was very clear after just a few minutes how little brain he really did have.

Like, none.

"What is that animal you have with you?" He asked about 5 minutes in to their journey. "A dog."

*silence*

"Oh." was his reply.

*more silence*

"What is a dog?"

*sigh* Dorothy really hoped this Emerald City place wasn't far away so the wise and wonderful man could get her out. of. this. PLACE. Ugh! Besides, Toto was starting to scoot around on his rear. He needed his worm medicine. Or maybe he needed some fruit in his diet. Either way, none of that was to be found around the likes of this place.

But Dorothy had no sooner had the thought when she saw an apple laying on the ground. Fruit!! Food!! She was feeling a bit hungry, after all, and this would be a perfect snack. She doubted the Scarecrow was hungry. He probably didn't even know what an apple was.

"Toto! Stop lifting your leg on all those trees! Let's pick the apples from them, instead!"

"STOP PICKING MY APPLES!"

What in the heck?? Dorothy dropped the basket of picked apples all over the ground. She couldn't believe it! The tree was actually talking to her!

"That tree is talking to me!" she yelled at the Scarecrow.

"Oh."  *silence*  "What's a tree?"

Oh, mercy. This guy really was needing help from the wise and wonderful man just as soon as possible. Dorothy wasn't sure how much more of his nonsense she could take. She gathered up what apples she had dropped, grabbed Toto and yelled at the Scarecrow to run. Of course, she had to stop several times to pick him up. Then she spilled the apples all over the place again. Ugh! Maybe getting Toto to stop scooting all over the place wasn't worth the hassle of collecting some fruit.

As Dorothy picked up one of the last apples she came across a strange looking sculpture. It was certainly different than the sculpture that she had seen in the museum that Auntie Em and Uncle Henry had taken her to last year.

"oooommee."

"Did you hear that?" she asked the Scarecrow.

"oooommeeeeee!"

"There it is again! It sounds like it is coming from this sculpture."

"Oh."   *silence*  "What's a sculpture?"

Even Toto was getting sick of this dude. He needed those brains STAT. And now it looked like they were going to be joined by some strange metal looking man. No telling what issues HE was going to contribute to this journey. Oh, joy. But Toto couldn't spend any more time thinking about it. He had an itch he needed to take care of.

Dorothy finally figured out the sculpture was trying to get her to oil his tired old joints with the can conveniently sitting right next to him. After doing so he went in to some song and dance about having no heart or some silly something. Everybody was so in to singing and dancing around here. Why couldn't they just have a normal conversation? And WHY couldn't that prissy beauty queen-of-a-witch just have transported her in that flashy bubble? Dorothy's feet were killing her! As she sat down to give them a rub she remembered that she wasn't allowed to take the shoes off. Great. No relief anytime soon.

"Waaahhhh!!!!!!" the metal man started wailing. What the heck was wrong with him? He rusted his eyelids shut with tears so Dorothy got up and oiled him again. "Thank you! I have no heart so I am sad. And when I am sad I cry. And when I cry I rust."

Great. Another needy companion. *sigh* Well, what would it hurt to invite him along? Maybe the wise and wonderful man could give him some heart so he would stop bawling like a little girly girl. "Metal Man, do you want to get yourself all fixed up with a heart? We are going to see some dude who may help us so maybe he could help you, too."

"I am made of Tin. Not just any old metal....but do you think he help me, this wonderful man you speak of?"

Toto had just about had enough of this. How many of these needy idiots was Dorothy going to invite along? She was already completely preoccupied with helping the stumbling idiot along, now the crybaby.

It was proving to be a very long trip.

to be continued.....