Saturday, August 9, 2008

In honor of the Olympics

The summer Olympics always makes me smile a little when I start watching some of the events. Events that, somewhere someone some time ago, deemed it a sport. At first thought my initial reaction was, "Badminton? A sport? Really?" (By the way, as a side note I want everyone to know that for the longest time...okay, until just now....I thought it was "bad-mitton". Spell check got me. What is "bad-mitton"? Who can knit the worst pair of mittens? What was I thinking?) But then I watched it for the first time tonight. The running around the court, the lunging, the stretching, the coordination and people actually SWEATING and it made me sweat a little.

But just a little.

Not really. It's hard to over exert yourself watching TV.

So I'm watching this tonight, thinking how weird that what I always thought was a fun little backyard game with my brother is an Olympic sport. I assume they do not play with those little plastic birdies, nor do they get their rackets sold in a set of 4 in the sports section of Wal Mart. The distinction between back yard fun and Olympic seriousness is also tell-tale in the net did not appear as though Beijing's badminton nets droop in the middle, nor do they have large holes where the birdie has gotten stuck and been forced free.

And how do you decide to get serious about badminton? What is that moment when you say, "Mom. Dad. I need to train."

And then there's ping pong.

Well, you get what I'm saying. But don't get me wrong. I certainly have a healthy respect for anybody who has the drive and talent to make it to the Olympics, regardless of the event. I'm impressed with the mental dedication it takes, too. It is something to be proud of and rejoice in.

And since I'm all about looking for ways to rejoice, I've come up with a few of my own Olympic events that I'm considering submitting to the Olympic committee for consideration.

  • Texting: I'm pretty sure my daughter already has the gold medal wrapped up for this one. Just sayin'. I think this would be strictly an individual event only because I can't think of a way to make it doubles or team-based. There is already some national tournament thing for this (I saw it on Yahoo News). They could just use those same rules, whatever they are.
  • Knuckle Popping: My mother would not be able to watch this event. I'm sure she would head for the kitchen to get the wooden spoon to whack it across everyone's hands. Probably another individual event, but with different categories: hands, necks, feet and a tri"pop"alon which includes all 3.
  • Flossing: judging based on speed and how much crap you get out of your teeth. Points deducted for missing in between any teeth or drawing blood by being too aggressive.
  • Whistling: I cannot enter this competition. Ever. It could be a team event....think dueling banjos. Judging based on volume and difficulty of song.
  • Hog Calling: It could happen.

So what's your Olympic event?


  1. What about sacking groceries? Top points for speed, amount you can fit in the bag without overfilling or tearing it and extra points for getting the cold stuff all together.

  2. Hmmm...sacking groceries might almost take some physical effort. Lifting, reaching, etc. You may have something there!

  3. I'd be winning the knuckle cracking medals no doubt!!!

  4. So funny that you posted about this because I caught a few minutes of the badminton playing today on the Olympics coverage and I had to say--seriously? I mean, like you said, I respect anyone who trains and makes it, etc etc. But, badminton? Sorry, makes me giggle.

  5. I play a mean game of Red Rover.

  6. I think you seriously forgot about beer pong!

  7. hey now - I took badminton in college. (had to take a gym credit and everything else was too much effort and sweat) My other credit was bowling. You may laugh now.

  8. My Olympic sport? Passive agressive sarcasm. In fact, we're having tryouts over at ScrapJazz right now, too bad you left. You could have gotten a medal!

  9. I think we could combine beer pong and bowling.

    And Cassandra, I could be the COACH.


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