This gnarly beast...

is the reason the U.S. Postal Service required me to get a PO Box.



Apparently the beast (we'll call him Hamish - pronounced "Hay-mish"...because it really is his name) was out in the driveway about 2 months ago when the postman came walking up with my mail. Hamish let out a big 'ol vicious bark and the rest is history.

Now what most people do not know (and the rest of what makes this so funny) is that Hamish really has no voice. He was a "rescue" dog (and already named, because I know you are wondering, after this Braveheart character) and his vocal chords were cut when he was a puppy. Now before you go getting all PETA on me, I want to clarify that he does have a voice...just a very raspy one. Very similar to Bette Davis after binge drinking and smoking 12 packs of cigarettes in a night. Or the Godfather with a bad case of laryngitis. Either way, you get the picture.

Now that you have this mental image of the beast and his mighty ferociousness, let's go back to the day my postman was walking up the driveway. So there he is, mace in hand with the Bette Davis Gnarly Beast barking (hacking) up a storm telling my 17 yr. old son to call him off.

My son laughed at him.

Ticked the guy off more.

And now I am required to drive to the post office everyday to get my mail. I had to fill out a forwarding address card and notify everyone and their brother that may send me a piece of mail that my address has changed. It's a huge inconvenience at best.

Maybe if I get rid of my teenager instead of the dog they will start delivering to my house again.

Things that make you go "Hmmmmm....."

So why in the world would I want to continue doing business with a company that openly admitted they have been overcharging me for a service SINCE OCTOBER....but will do nothing to rectify that? And still fully expect me to pay a $640 phone bill (the third one in as many months)?

Hmmmmmm.....

"Thank you for being a loyal and valuable customer, Mrs. Pryor" was what I heard as I canceled my 4 phones with AT&T/Cingular Wireless tonight after 6 years of doing business with them. My response? "Well, thank YOU for treating this loyal and valuable customer like shit." (Yes, my exact words in case you wondered.)I was also asked that, if called by a customer survey rep, would I be able to say that my issues and concerns were handled to my satisfaction. My response? "Well, nothing against you personally, but if your company calls me I will have NOTHING GOOD to say about anything that has taken place between us in the last 3 months. Soooo....your company can call, but it won't be pretty." (Yes, my exact words in case you were still wondering.)

*insert chirping crickets here*

And for the benefit of anybody that may be reading this, when you tell AT&T/Cingular that you would like UNLIMITED TEXTING applied to a specific phone number, make sure they understand what you mean by UNLIMITED. Apparently there are two different kinds of unlimited with them. In-network and out-of-network. And by saying (and I quote) "I want my daughter to text her little freakin' heart out to whomever she wants and I don't give a crap WHO she texts." you STILL need to confirm that you want the $20/mo service and not the $15/mo service. And then you want to confirm (even after they say this out loud to you...I'm telling you to repeat it and have them repeat it again) that the new feature will begin PRO-ACTIVE TO THE BEGINNING OF THE CURRENT BILLING CYCLE. Not beginning immediately, but pro-Active to the beginning of the CURRENT billing cycle. Say it with me, readers. Say it out loud. And make them repeat it back. Because "beginning immediately" might mean the last 5 days of the billing cycle and you are going to explode when you get your THIRD $600+ phone bill in a row.

Actually, do yourself and your blood pressure a favor and just DON'T do business with AT&T/Cingular Wireless.

They are the giants of the Wireless industry. And I am merely David with my slingshot and stone....but a friend suggested I call the local news station that does "Call 3 Problem Solvers". They love this kind of stuff. I would love to hear how the AT&T/Cingular PR Damage Control folks spin this.

Hmmmmm.......

Oh...and Thoughts for Thursday?

I prayed for patience recently.

I got to practice being patient with AT&T tonight. I got transferred 4 times, was on hold not talking to anyone for a total of 35 minutes, total call time was almost 1-1/2 hours...and I couldn't call them from my cell phone because they turned my service off for non-payment of the $640 bill I was disputing.

God is funny.

Thoughts for Thursday

I really have just one special thought today. Linda's (my bff of 35 years) mother.....Flo. She is in a better place since God called her home last Wednesday. She is healthy again. No more pain. No more dialysis. No more strict diet. She is with her husband, her son and her parents. I have no doubts that she is getting on a mean game of basketball (she played in college) and having SOOO much fun styling her very *own* hair. She is full of joy. Linda and I have talked about how she would be mad that a fuss was being made over her. We chuckled a little over that. So typical of her.

So on Saturday there will be a celebration of her life. Flo lived a good and full life and what is not to celebrate about that? This woman touched so many lives with her thoughtfulness, never-ending selflessness, love and compassion that it would be difficult NOT to be sad. But she deserves to be celebrated, lifted up in song and remembered not with tears, but with joy.

My heart aches for Linda over the loss of her mother. I am sad beyond words for her and what a huge void this will leave in her life. But I am forever grateful just to have known this woman and to have had such a special influence in my life as child/teen/adult.

God Bless, Flo. You will be missed.

Getting Ready to Graduate Child #2

Yup. That's right. I'll be graduating him. Just like I graduated the first one....with a hot cattle prod between his legs until the deadline of May 23 reveals he has completed all his required units.

May 23, people. That's only 51 days. And my dear son has a WHOLE LOTTA MATH to complete by then.

(Enter cattle prod)

For those that aren't aware, Nathan is in an independent study program through the school district. This means that a traditional school setting didn't work out so well for him. Or he didn't work out so well for it. (I honestly think it was a 50/50 split. He got bored early in his freshman year and got a little *cough-cough* preoccupied with disturbing other students during class. He got a class clown award the first semester. Sweet. And besides all that, you couldn't pay me enough to be in high school nowadays) Either way, he does the work at his own pace, goes to school 2 days a week to turn in his units and test. One unit of work = one packet for him to complete....5 units (packets) completes one semester of required work. Sometimes a packet takes him 1 hour and he can work through an entire semester of work in a week. Did you get all that? =P

But he isn't gonna get his math (Algebra) done that fast....and he has 18 units (18 packets) to complete.

Soooo...his teacher reveals this information to me today. I'm not surprised because the cattle prod has been hot for a few months. The answer to the dilema? We added another school day for him. He is now required to attend 3 days a week until the deadline so that he will finish everything.

And how does Nathan feel about all this? Well, the cowgirl holding the cattle prod doesn't really care how he feels about it, but surprisingly adding the extra day was HIS idea. He really wants to graduate ON TIME and does not want to extend his ceremonial walk to December. My kid is stubborn...and being stubborn and getting sidetracked in October and November is what landed him in this predicament. And he knows that. I will not be surprised if the ceremonial walk doesn't happen until December...but my son is just stubborn enough to make it all happen in May.

Either way, he's gonna need some ointment for those burns.