Wednesday, April 7, 2010

When is a purse finally too big?

I've recently started having some problems with my left elbow. It should be noted that I carry my purse with this arm....on my forearm, specifically, with my elbow bent at about 90 degrees.

(I'm totally hijacking this post to tell you I just spent the last 10 minutes trying to figure out how to type the symbol for "degree" and gave up. Carry on...)

Well, the elbow is getting worse. It gets particularly bad when I'm at work reaching all the time for the speed-dial pre-programmed numbers. Or when I'm talking to someone on the phone for an extended period of time (longer than 5 minutes) because I use my left ear when using the phone. It huuuuuurts when I extend it out to hang up the phone.

One night when it was particularly sore, I picked up my purse to leave work.

*insert angels singing for the epiphany*

Well maybe THAT'S why the elbow hurts so bad! So I started to think about what could possibly be in my purse that was weighing it down. I glanced through it real quick, laughed out loud, and decided it was blog worthy.

I'm that big of a dork.

So here is the culprit. The purse is really just too big for everyday use. I initially purchased it (well, my sweet husband did) for a trip to Canada last year. But it is cute, right?

 

Let's just take a little looksie inside, shall we?

 

This is pretty understandable, right? The basics...with some clever disguising for the purposes of posting it for the world to see. These items would most likely be in EVERY. SINGLE. WOMAN'S. PURSE. Including a business card or two. But these items alone do not require a purse the size of a small suitcase.

 

 

So let's continue on. We have a long way to go, people.Here are some miscellaneous health and beauty items.

 

Assorted writing implements. Not really sure why I need such a variety. A basic ball point/gel pen would be enough. One. One pen. (sorry for this horribly blurry picture...)

 

Gloves. Not weird....except for the fact that I can't even remember the last time I wore them. Notice the particles of purse droppings on them. Wonder what those are. Hmmm...

 

I'm all about fresh and fruity breath, people.

 


I know you ladies have a receipt. Or two. Or a pile? Yeah. This went immediately in to the trash after I took the picture. Please give homage to the very long receipt. I pushed that shopping cart by myself. When you finish bowing at my feet continue reading.

 

Coupons, anyone?

 

Leftovers from the soccer tournament.

 

More leftovers. There are no credits on any of those cards, by the way. "But Cheri? Why didn't you throw them away?" I'm a scrapbooker. I scrap all things related to any trip I took pictures of. Including lists of food requests from Carl's Jr. I'm that cool.

 

Tickets for a raffle to win an iPod. I cannot say no to Jr. High Girls trying to raise money for their sports team. And I guess their cute faces were the reason I hung on to these tickets 2 months after I bought them. I'm pretty sure the drawing was 3 days after I brought them home. I don't think I won. Or maybe they couldn't read my phone number. Do you ever wonder about that? Seriously? I am so very careful when I'm writing info on the back of raffle tickets. It's this paranoia I have that I will be picked and my writing will be so scribbly (is that word?) that they will draw another ticket. But I digress.

 

We are almost done, people. Hang in there with me.

This is my pocket calendar. It has my work schedule written in it. Which, if you know anything about my work schedule, is crazy enough that it neeeeeeeds to be written down for me so I can check it against every thing else that might possibly be scheduled.

 

It's a pretty important thing for me to have in my purse. I panic if I can't find it. The problem here is this is a 2008-2009 calendar. I've probably triplebooked something this year and don't realize it yet.

Here we have a cell phone charger that doesn't work, a cell phone charger that does work and a set of ear phones for my iPod....that isn't in my purse.

 

A pile of crap that I had to go through and sort/file/toss. Mostly toss. But I wanted to sound organized.

 

My wallet, on the left, which should have had some of the other items mentioned earlier in it. And my son's wallet, on the right, which he hasn't used since I brought him a new one from Fiji. In December. It's empty. Don't judge me.

 

And this? Well this, my friends, is the piece de resistance. The item I am sure was the largest contributor to my sickly elbow. And the number one sign that your purse is just too big....because I didn't even know it was in there until I started really digging around. DIGGING. You have to use that term when it comes to purses the size of small suitcases.

 

You just never know when a girl is gonna get hungry for some chili. Not sure how I planned on opening it, but that doesn't really matter, does it? It's a can of chili. In my purse. For how long? No clue. Long enough to do a number on my elbow apparently.

So to recap, here's the pile BEFORE I cleaned out the much-too-large-for-everyday purse:

 

Here is the pile AFTER I "filed" everything (I'm organized. Remember?)

 

And it all fits nicely in to this much smaller purse.

 

 

My elbow is already thanking me.


19 comments:

  1. the Secret Stuff/More Secrets slayed me!!! Too funny!!!

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  2. Oh you silly people and your huge purses! I find it funny that you still put all those pens AND four packs of gum back into your purse!! lol

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  3. Wow Cheri, just wow. LOL

    I have never thought about carrying around a can (being vegetarian, it would probably be just beans). Of course, my purse is about the size of two cans.

    As a massage therapist & working with a chiropractor i can tell you, much of the pain women have in shoulders/arms, etc. is the result of carrying a purse too heavy. The docs often tell women to get a smaller, lighter purse. (Of course, one of them - she's retired now - carried one of the largest purses i'd ever seen, herself!)

    I'm constantly on the look out for the "perfect" tiny purse. One that carries all the necessities but is about the size of small paperback book . . . haven't found that one yet!

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  4. Bwahaha on the chili! I have a purse even larger than that. My sister gave it to me. I started having shoulder pain. Finally figured out it was the suitcase, I mean, purse's fault.

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  5. Okay, I was with you on most of that, thinking, yep, been there, have that. But the chilli?! I admit to carrying a bottle of water in my purse to have it handy during One Act Play performances, but I have never carried canned goods. You win the outrageous purse award.

    Wait, didn't someone say something about scrapping the contents of your purse for a Truth or Dare Journal? Save these pics and journaling till you get that chance!

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  6. Chili? Really? I wish I could say I am surprised....but it does explain a lot!

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  7. OMG! I am cracking up at the Chili!!! But where are the Fritos so you can have chili pie???

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  8. So, what does it say about me that my purse is the size of your wallet? There is no way I could fit a can into it.

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  9. LMAO! THe infamous pocket calendar! I hope you didn't get rid of it, look how cute I decorated it hehe!

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  10. OMG I am still laughing that you had chili in your purse and didn't even know it was in there or how it got there. Hmmmmmmmm

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  11. ALT+167 = º (the degree symbol).

    :)

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  12. º huh it works! how cool is that? Thanks for the info Carrie.

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  13. and you laugh at me>? you have a can of chili in your purse, and it's not a small can, hell no, cheri needs a LARGE can of chili! WTH> crazy, just crazy!

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  14. Chili? Seriously? I gues it goes with the idea of the gloves . . .
    And you have a head start on my CJ!!

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  15. What a fun post - you crack me up

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  16. seriously, i got all the way to the can of chili... then burst out in tears laughing so hard. i replayed the entire scenario for J and about died again. thankfully he found it just as humorous. and all i could think was.. "that is such a cheri thing to do!" ROFLMAO!!!

    luv ya babe ;)

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  17. Canned food?! Your poor elbow! Been missing your posts recently1

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  18. Dennison's Chili?? Really?? I your purse?? YOU ARE A LOON WOMAN!! roflmao

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