Let's face it, people. The journey to menopause just sucks and I blame Eve. This HAS to be part of her punishment for that whole apple business.
As I sit here peeling off layers of clothes while experiencing my 874th hot flash of the week, I have to wonder how Eve dealt with this mess. It's not like she could jaunt off to the doctor to beg for a little pill to make it somewhat bearable. It's possible she didn't even know what the heck was making her feel so edgy and horrible to begin with. Nobody had any previous experiences to share with her, form support groups and blog about it so the internet world could come rushing to her aid. Heck, the only one she could talk to was Adam. And after her 27th emotional outburst about how the leaves were making her butt look fat I'm thinking Adam didn't really want to talk to her anyway. And there was that whole apple episode. He was probably still a little resentful over that.
Eve was just an emotional, hormonal mess anyway but then throw in that whole sibling rivalry with her sons? Can you imagine? It's not like Cain and Abel were fighting over the back seat of the mini van. Cain killed his little bro, people. KILLED him! How did hormonal-ravaged Eve even wrap her head around that? Maybe she wasn't even old enough to be in menopause at that point, but we really have no way of knowing. Either way, hard to get over that. I get very sad when my kids are at odds with each other. But killing each other is a little beyond being at odds with each other, don't you think?
So if you haven't already guessed I am experiencing all the joys of a 40-something woman going through the "journey". I didn't pack bags for this journey. I didn't make travel plans or purchase tickets. Oh, no. This journey is free. It isn't costing me a dime. What it is costing me are happy days filled with the once-present-easygoing-will-she-ever-return Cheri. I even opted out of facebook because I couldn't find it in myself to read about one. single. more. happy. family. So unlike me to not feel joy for other people and even feel a little....*gasp!*....jealous. It's part of why I haven't blogged much. But only part of it. Things that I could normally work through emotionally take an enormous amount of effort to process. I like for my blog to be reflective of my fun, happy side.
Basically I couldn't find my fun, happy side the last 10 months.
But it's peeking through again. I went to the doctor, something Eve did not have the opportunity to experience. Little by little I seem to be overcoming this beast called perimenopause....the state of going through the process but not quite being IN menopause. I'm processing things better. And I think I might actually be okay.
Yes, only 4 short months ago I thought I was going positively insane.
And I didn't have children killing each other.
Meron, and the Bonfires of Lag ba' Omer
2 days ago