Wow. Looks like I was gearing up to start writing again. 18 months ago. Then I had some life-stuff to deal with. My mind was focused on getting through the death of my mom. Sad was an understatement and writing something funny and witty was just not in the cards for awhile. But I started several posts, kept them in a draft form hoping to post them with some fun pictures and updates on what I've been up to all these years.
But life-stuff has happened once again. My heart is so heavy and the grief is so intense that I'm just not sure how my writing will ever be the funny, lighthearted bit of nonsense it once was. But writing has always been therapy for me. Stress therapy. And maybe it's okay that the writing changes. For awhile, anyway. Writing this post will encourage more writing. And more writing. And still more writing....enough writing therapy that perhaps that lighthearted bit of nonsense will return. Eventually. I'm on a mission to get my happy back. It's a lofty goal.
But I need to write this post first, the beginning of some intense writing therapy. Meaningful, deep, emotional writing therapy. Maybe through my own experience I can somehow find the words that will help someone else deal with the grief that I find myself faced with.
On July 3 Troy and I lost our oldest child, Cody, to suicide. I've written about him before here. Words cannot even begin to describe the impact this loss has had on our immediate family, not to mention extended family and the 100+ people that Cody called friends. His personality was as big as his soul. I could go on and on about Cody and the stories from the 28 years he walked this earth. And I will, but not in one single post. You'll learn about him through a series of posts....that writing therapy that I need so very badly....and I know you will discover the amazing person he was as I pour my heart out on this blog in order to help it heal.
As the life of Cody unfolds here, so will the life of my family as I share our journey towards a new "normal" without him. The year of firsts will no doubt be painful and heartbreaking, but as each funny story, picture and memory is shared it will keep his spirit alive and help to heal the wounds that are still so tender and fresh. As that happens, please keep us in your prayers as we navigate through the grief.
Cody Allen Pryor
February 3, 1988 - July 3, 2016
"In the end, it's not the years in your life that count.
It's the life in your years." Abraham Lincoln