Sleeping Women....romantic movie version vs. real life

I was listening to Garth Brooks on the way to the dentist the other day. Don't hate. I like country music. What about it?

ANYWAY this beautiful, romantic melody came on called "If Tomorrow Never Comes".



Let's not get caught up in the fact that this song COULD have been written to his daughter, or his mother, or his wife (who all appear in this video)...his wife, who he ended up cheating on with another Country Music star, Trisha Yearwood (whom he later married)...let's just focus on the words at the very beginning of this beautiful love song:

Sometimes late at night
I lie awake and watch her sleeping
She's lost in peaceful dreams
So I turn out the lights and lay there in the dark

Every romantic movie I've ever seen where the leading lady is sleeping always has her looking like she just layed down after getting home from a day at the salon. Beautiful and angelic. Makeup perfect and not a hair out of place...unless it is perfectly tossled around the pillow. And couples will always wake up gazing at each other and immediately embrace in some long passionate kiss. Something to behold, for sure. And this song certainly brings that vision to one's mind wouldn't you say? I would. And that's all that matters since this is my blog.

However, reality is much more harsh. Not very romantic at all most of the time.

 

Drool, snoring, morning breath and bed head. That's reality.

Well, it's my reality.

Well, it's my husband's reality.

Irony in its rawest form

My daughter and I were having a conversation last week about the state of our family. We discussed some history of things that have happened in the last 6-7 years. For me it was nice that it was a conversation about things that have come to pass. Our little family has had some...ummmm..."challenges" over those past 6-7 years.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. You've heard that expression, yes? Yes. Me, too. I've actually lived that expression. Is that even possible? To "live" an expression?

I digress. Back to this conversation I was having with Lindsay...

We had talked through much of the previous years and had a brief moment of silence when suddenly she looked at me and said in all seriousness, "Well, Mom, we survived. And we are better and everyone is healthy."

I hesitated at this remark. I looked at her, looked around and laughed. And then she laughed. We laughed together for about 5 minutes at the irony of her statement because this was the setting at the time of our conversation:

 

Yes, that's a hospital bed.

The Wizard of Oz....A classic retold....Part 3

In case you missed them....Part 1 and Part 2

Entire cast of characters provided by Madame Alexander Wizard of Oz Collection.

*********************************

Dorothy was still trying to get used to all of this color blinding her poor sepia-trained eyes. Then trying to deal with that nasty green woman. Ugh! What's with all the threats and stuff? She was an innocent victim in all of this witch business. It was giving her a headache. She really needed an ibuprofen or some caffeine.

Or maybe she just needed to go home.

"I just want to go home. Back to the land of colorless people and flat, never-ending treeless land. Boring home. This is over-stimulating every sense I have and it's making me sick. How do I get HOOOOOME?!"

Toto was very tired of all this whining. He didn't want to go back to Kansas. He was liking all of this positive attention. Well, except for that green witch who reeked of cats.

Glenda sighed. Whatever. So the brat wants to go home. Let her. She was, after all, taking away some of the attention usually saved for herself and the colorful little people. She certainly could not stand for this lack of attention for any extended period of time.

"See those yellow bricks? Well, it's actually a long, long road that will take you to a wise and mysterious man who most certainly has the answer you need to get you home."

 

Dorothy looked over and saw a winding yellow brick road. A very long, winding, uneven, yellow brick road. She sighed. It was going to be a long day because not only did she have a marathon of a walk to accomplish, she had to do it in these horribly uncomfortable red sparkly shoes. Who walks that far in HEELS? Ugh! And why was this supposedly good witch wanting her to do something that would no doubt require a lifetime of visits to the podiatrist?? If she was really good she would just fly her around in that pink bubble of hers.

"So I just follow this yellow brick road? And that will get me home?"

It had no sooner come out of Dorothy's mouth when all the colorful little people started chanting "follow the yellow brick road" and then broke out in song. It was as if they had rehearsed this over and over and over just waiting for some fool to come crashing down in a house in to their little existence.

"I've gotta get out of here. I'm becoming delirious. Let's go, Toto!!"

Toto was more than happy to oblige. As much as he loved all of this attention he really needed to find a fire hydrant. Or some patch of grass. Or both. And he really hoped Dorothy had some small baggies to clean up after him.

It wasn't long after she got started that Dorothy came upon a fork in the yellow brick road. When pondering which way to go she heard a voice that didn't know any better which way to go than she did.

"But there isn't anybody around but this silly looking straw man."

 

But Toto knew exactly where the voice had come from. It WAS from the straw man. How dumb did this dude have to be not to know which way to go? Certainly he was familiar with his own neighborhood.

"Hey, girly. Can you get me down from here? I need to stretch...and I promise I'll show you the real way to go if you do."

Dorothy thought about it for exactly 2 seconds. Again, Toto was alarmed at this girl's lack of stranger-danger awareness. But as the dude fell on the ground and flounced around like an idiot he decided there really was no harm.

"Where are you headed?" he asked the dynamic duo.

"To find some wise and wonderful man that will tell me how to get home."

"Do you think I could come with you? I could really use some brains and if he is as wise as you say maybe he could hook a scarecrow up."

Scarecrow? Toto could not believe his flea-bitten ears. This guy wasn't scary at all. Maybe he COULD use some brains to figure out how to do his job better. What could be the harm?

"Sure! I could use the company!" replied Dorothy.

And off they skipped own the beaten yellow brick road. Dorothy was really hoping they didn't have much further to go. Especially since this scarecrow dude wasn't a very good walker. It was going to be a long journey if she had to constantly help him up.

Little did she know.

To be continued....

Dear Blog,

Hi there. How are you? I hope you are doing well. What? You are lonely? I'm sorry. I suppose that is my own fault since I have, after all, been MIA for almost 3 months. What's that? Where in the world have I been? I've been home. And at work. Took a small vacation with my mom and oldest son. But you know what? Mostly I've just been focusing my energies on some things that needed to take a higher priority than the internet. I'm sorry it made you lonely. It kind of made me lonely, too, since I really enjoy coming here and rambling on and on about things that are completely insignificant. It's a good diversion from reality and a wonderful little stress release.

What? I must not have any stress since I don't need you for an outlet?

Yeah. We'll go with that.

It was good to chat with you again. Let's have lunch tomorrow. You seem hungry....and I have a story I need to finish.

Hugs & Kisses!!

The Wizard of Oz....A classic retold....Part 2

If you missed Part 1, read it here.

Entire cast of characters provided by Madame Alexander Wizard of Oz Collection.

*********************************

"It's a Twister!"

 

So there was, like, this HUGE storm. And it was very scary for Dorothy because Uncle Henry and Auntie Em locked her out of the storm cellar. They were still pretty peeved about her running away. So she ran in the house to try and get in the bathtub but hit her head. When she woke up she was dazed and confused.

"Toto, I've got a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore."

 

Toto didn't care where he was. He was happy to be SOMEWHERE different. And over the rainbow seemed like a happy, colorful place to be. Away from that hormonal mean Miss Nasty-what's-her-face. He was just pretty intrigued by all these small, strangly-dressed people.

 

 

Just as Dorothy and Toto were admiring all this color, a floating sphere lands in the middle of everyone. A beautiful but obviously self-centered, attention-seeking blonde appears. She takes one look at Dorothy and knows she has nothing to worry about. I mean, who wears blue gingham without sparkles? And that mousey brown hair? Puh-leeeze!

 

"Are you a good witch or a bad witch?" She asks Dorothy. But she already knows the answer. She is a bad witch. Good witches have a much better sense of style.

"I'm not a witch at all. Witches are mean and ugly...like this mean and ugly Menopausal woman back home. She is, like, sooooo nasty. I think she needs to take some natural vitamin supplements or something because her moods are...."

"Ummm...EXCUSE ME! I'm Glenda the Good Witch and I'm the most beautiful creature ever. And I sparkle more than any vampire you've ever seen. Besides my natural beauty I'm also beaming with personality and humility. Don't you think?"

"Oh, I'm sorry! Yes, you are quite beautiful!"

"I know, right?"

 

After all the admiration and forced complimenting came to an end, Glenda explained to Dorothy that she must be a bad witch because of her horrible fashion sense. Oh, and because her space-vehicle-house landed on a rotten witch.

"Yep, she's dead."

 

"I'm not a witch! I'm just plain old Dorothy Gale from Kansas. I don't mind my Aunt and Uncle very well and I cause lots of trouble for them by letting my dog chase cats." Despite her pleadings, Dorothy couldn't believe it when she looked down and those sparkly shoes had suddenly appeared on her own feet. Red? RED? I'm not red shoe material, she thought. I'm from the land of sepia tones. Toto was not impressed by any of this.

Just then a huge cloud of black smoke appeared. After it cleared a woman, who clearly had been exposed to copper for far too long, got all up in Dorothy's grill about killing her sister or something. Apparently she wanted those silly red shoes because they went better with black than blue gingham.

 

The shoes wouldn't come off. Apparently there was some magical spell attached to them. The nasty green lady was plenty pissed off about this and called Dorothy pretty, referenced Toto as a little dog, then disappeared in a huff. The mean greenie seemed familiar to Dorothy but she couldn't quite place where she knew her. And how would she know her, anyway?

But Toto knew. He could smell her cats....

To Be Continued....