Pardon me...

while my blog undergoes cosmetic surgery. After a year and a half and over 10,000 hits on my blog I thought it needed an update. Isn't it cool how my groovy necklace ---->>>
totally matches the new colors. You might think it was accidental. Go ahead and think that.

I'm not an html pro. I'm actually an html flunkie so I'll be trying to figure out why my header is overflowing in to the border's personal space. And I don't know about you but I HATE when someone ignores my personal space.

I hope my header doesn't have bad breath. That would make it even worse.

Thank you for your continued patience and understanding. I promise I'll figure it out soon! I'll also have to figure out who some folks are on my traffic feed (viewable only by me). SPAMMERS I assume. Stupid spammers. Do you think it's a coincidence they showed up right after I mentioned my dad's tighty whities? Thank God for word verification or there is no telling WHAT I would have in my comments section.

I am....my father

And, unfortunately, I've noticed recently that it is not things I remember FONDLY about him. Well, I remember them while laughing NOW, but these particular things made me want to wet my pants when I was growing up out of fear and trepidation that I would be beat.

Okay, not "beat". But in a decent amount of trouble if I laughed, spoke out of turn or looked the other way. Or took a breath. Or continued to exist.

My father worked as a mechanic for a living. He got up early in the morning and my mom got up and fixed him breakfast EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. (I know, right?!) But in the 25+ years that she did this they never spoke to one another. We are not known as "morning friendly", people. It's just the way it is. It's part of our charm. Trust me. Considering I was manufactured from both sets of these "non-morning" genes, it would factor in that I, myself, am NOT a morning person.

After close to 25 years with Troy, he still does not quite get this. I know y'all are shocked that my stunning, warm, funny personality is not a 24/7/365 event. Get over it.

But over the years my mom has grown out of this shell almost entirely. She is quite perky and talkative in the mornings now. It could be because she wakes up, much to her chagrin, at around 4:30 in the morning and by the time I get up she's been up half the day. Or it could be that my dad isn't around to be Mr. Grumpy Gills (name that movie) that she has to deal with.

Now she has me when I'm there to visit. I love my mom dearly. But I simply get freakin' annoyed with people when they want to be all chatty in the morning and expect ME to be, too. I'm a good listener in the morning. I'm a GREAT listener in the morning. I just suck at the talking part. So don't make me. It is particularly annoying when I get up at my mom's house, grab a cup of coffee and head to the living room where she is watching TV....and SHE TURNS THE TV OFF. This is the first sign she wants to have some rousing conversation about something and all I want to do is zone at the TV.

But this lack of morning social skills is not the only thing I've noticed about myself getting worse and more like my father as I get older.

Because he got up so early to leave for work (he had a 40 minute drive one way) he also went to bed early. And once my dad went to bed it was QUIET TIME!! Ooops....I mean it was QUIET TIME. If Linda (my bff) hops on here to read this, I'm sure she can confirm the "rules" of no phone calls, no visitors, using quiet voices when over at my house past 8:00 p.m. Yes, 8:00 p.m. Once my dad was asleep, you better fear for your life if you woke the sleeping giant. Lord have mercy. It was nothing compared to the morning grumpiness. Oy!! There were a myriad of reasons my father woke up:

TV too loud
Phone ringing
Dogs barking
Doors shutting
Cupboard doors shutting
Refrigerator doors shutting
Laughter from the living room
Dust settling

I'm guessing my dad was a light sleeper....and I'm telling you that I lived in the house when each item on that list caused my dad to throw open his bedroom door, storm down to the end of the hall and yell at us in his tighty-whities. And it was very difficult for us to take my dad serious in his tighty-whities....and if "laughter" was the cause of his awakening then we were really in trouble once he stormed back to his room.

But much to my dismay I have become this person.

I've never been an overly heavy sleeper or an overly light sleeper. I can fall asleep very quickly....but it is hard for me to go back to sleep if I get woke up. And now that sleep comes at a premium for this shift-working, sleep-deprived, peri-menopausal woman? It's ugly if I get woke up...and the previous list is the same list of things that will cause me to throw open my bedroom door, flail (yes, flail...it's not pretty, people) down my stairs and proceed to YELL at whoever is causing the ruckus. Including the dogs. And those dogs can be NOISEY with their toenails "click-click-clicking" on the floors downstairs and their licenses/tags jingling around. UGH!!

I'm hyperventilating just thinking about it.

So I'm sure my children see this as funny once I stomp back up the stairs, slam my door shut and crawl back in bed. After all, they are *my* children. But I usually don't have to yell twice.

I wonder if it makes them want to pee their pants, too?

When good internet friends go bad...

and stalk your blog making threats against you if you don't post an update.

Not mentioning any names here Patti but I guess I've been slightly neglectful on my blog. I have LOTS of posts started. Many of them completely written except for downloading pictures from my camera....or TAKING pictures that relate to the post. Some of them don't mean as much without the pictures so they are sitting there drafted, looking lonely and sad that they have not made their way to that final post.

And no, some of my drafted posts have nothing to do with me needing a picture of myself in a bikini showing off all my weight loss progress. Just sayin'. There has been weight loss progress, just not enough to put myself in a bikini and post a picture. There may never be enough weight loss for that.

So what does one ramble on and on about when there is no picture to post with the ramblings? I can't figure it out because I really like to tell stories with pictures. So I thought I would just give a pictorial update on some previous posts.

Ready?

Her breath is still VERY bad


This little cutie will be TWO this month!


I still don't think this is a good idea


The scar is barely noticeable


I'm still not getting her out on that course with me


What? You are still hungry?


There are still no pictures in this (shut up)


He's still escaping...but hasn't had to go to jail again


I have about 7 months before this ritual begins again


She is still less needy than any human living in our house


She's STILL trying


and last, but certainly not least, I'm still married to this goofball


As a matter of fact, I'll be celebrating 25 years with that goofball in December. And guess what? We are celebrating BIG TIME. More on that later. You know, when I have pictures to share.

Happy National Scrapbooking Day for those who have even the slightest clue what that is...and for everyone else I hope your weekend is wonderful!

Now leave me alone, Patti.

Embracing my gray

The first time I colored my hair I was around 34...and I did it on live TV. So it was a pretty big statement for this small town girl. I went from very brown hair to very strawberry blond and about 10 inches of hair cut off in the process.

It was a bit of a shocker to my poor husband who sat in an office with my coworkers as they all watched on TV. He really, really hated it. But over the next few years I gradually dyed all the reddish color out of it to become "just blond". He liked that much better, but I became very weary of the whole process. My hair grows very fast and I found myself constantly (read every two weeks) dying my roots. So after a few years I went bold again....and dyed it back to brown.

But there is something about dying your hair. It's a process that is VERY difficult to stop once you've started. I tried growing it out several times but the root problem would always send me over the edge. But after awhile I just didn't care anymore and let the growing out process take over.

It took about 3 years to completely grow out the blond-to-brown-to-natural hair color. And I was fairly happy with the outcome. I didn't *hate* my hair color. It was just so BROWN. But it was hassle-free and I was no longer a slave to the bottle!! YAY ME!!

Then...I got bored at my best friend's house one night. *sigh*

So the past year has been spent trying to grow this out again. My husband would seek little glimpses of my real color in all its gray glory and ask me why I didn't just let it go? I'm really not bothered by the gray. Seriously. THERE'S JUST SO MUCH OF IT! The growing out process would have resembled just growing out the blond to brown instead of dying it. It is THAT different. So off to the hairdresser I went. She looked and poked and fussed and finally decided to put some highlights in my hair to "mimic" the gray while it grew out so that it was less noticeable.

And it was less noticeable. For awhile. Until it was halfway grown out and I looked like I had a fake hairpiece on if I wore my hair up. It was fabulous. Not.

But last month I got one last haircut that took out the tiny bit of coloring that was there. And this is what I was left with:



Pay no attention to that big 'ol schnozz of a nose. It's the angle. Trust me. Really. (You might also notice the illusion of cleavage. It's the angle again. Trust me. Really.) But look at all that gray!



I guess the good thing about it is that it is evenly dispersed on my head....unlike my poor sister who got her first gray hairs as a large patch in the center of her forehead just like our mother.

Truth be told I don't really mind the gray. It's quite sparkley in the sun. I love feeling truthful to my aging process and embracing the whole thing. And I really, really, reallyreallyreally like not having to color it anymore. And my husband LOVES it. He says it gives me character. That's got to be a plus, right?

And besides.....I earned every single one of those suckers.

I've been tagged....

I'm pretty slow with this since it's been way too long since I went blog-hopping. I was interested in a little challenge fellow blogger Jennifer Sizemore posted and went be-bopping over to see what it was all about. Then I thought, "Well, while I'm here I might as well catch up with her posts...."

Then I saw it...."Camera Woes"

Apparently Jennifer would like to see me making faces at myself in the mirror. As if. (said in my very best Valley Girl voice)



Hmmm....tagging people to take pictures of themselves in a mirror.
Becky - Maybe, JUST MAYBE, she will update that blog of hers
Ashley - Maybe, JUST MAYBE, her picture will include a belly shot.
Stephanie - Maybe, JUST MAYBE, this will distract her for a tiny moment. (hug)

Tag! You're It!