Sunday, June 29, 2008

Message Board and Texting Acronyms

Bff. That was the title of my last post and it got me to thinking how much I really use all these silly acronyms. This blog was created because of a Scrapbooking Event here in Sacramento, CA. The Scrapbooking Event was created because of a message board I use to belong to. And while a member of that message board I used a whole schlew (is this even a word?) of various acronyms while chatting it up with my friends there. And now that I've become a professional text messager (I know that's not a word) with my daughter, I use even more.

So let's review just a few of the ones I know and use very often:

Bff - you already know that one.
kwim - know what I mean?
btw - by the way
fyi - okay, this isn't really new. You really *should* know that one, kwim?
lmbo - laughing my butt off
rofl - rolling on the floor laughing
roflmbo - rolling on the floor laughing my butt off (duh)
wth - what the heck? (or a different explicit that I'll let be since I'm pg-13 rated here)
brb - be right back
omg – oh my gosh

Those are just some that are available so that you don't fill a whole screen with unnecessary correct grammar and spellings of words. Because we just can’t have some hidden English lesson for all these teenagers, now can we? These acronyms have slowly made a way in to verbal communication, so I've decided that I'm going to introduce some of my own acronyms in to my every day life. Tell me what you think of these:

issp - I see stupid people
biss - because I said so
dinp - do it now, please
ptott - please take out the trash
lma - leave me alone
prttp - please replace the toilet paper
idham - I don't have any money
wcarttp - why can't anyone replace the toilet paper?
witrc - where is the remote control?
std - shut the door
stdp - shut the door, please
stdn - shut the door now
waitoowkhtrttp - why am I the only one who knows how to replace the toilet paper?

I think it will work. Well, maybe not that last one. It would probably just be easier to say it. But I'm not really getting through to these people with normal words so maybe some acronyms thrown in will get the job done. It’s what they know. It’s what they relate to. And since we are going to be acronym heavy in my house, I guess I better learn these new ones that will no doubt be coming out of the mouths of my offspring:

wdys - what did you say?
iam - in a minute (as they text their bff...because that's more important)
wwistd - what was I supposed to do?
dyham - do you have any money?
wittp - where is the toilet paper?
wfd - what's for dinner?
wdys - what did you say?

I think it will work. I'm feeling confident. As I type this I can hear the lawn mower running after asking my son for 3 days to mow the lawn. Maybe if I would have added "din" he would have not said "iam" and everyone would have been happy.

Yeah. I'm going for it.

Monday, June 23, 2008

My bff....

you know the one....she was handling dental affairs for me over the weekend to help my poor, miserable daughter get some relief? In the middle of trying to move? Yeah. Her. God did a very good thing for me when He blessed me with Linda. A very good thing, indeed.


Bff has a name: Linda. I have been friends with Linda since I was 10. And no, I'm not 20, so let's just say that I have known her longer than I haven't known her. Okay let's just say I've known her 32+ years because I'll be 43 next month and it doesn't really matter to me that you know that.

Linda and I went on a girl-trip a couple of weeks ago to Monterey, CA. Our friendship is the kind where you can go on a road trip and not say anything for an hour, and it's okay. We can go a couple of weeks without checking in with each other, but then we just pick up right where we left off. We are comfortable with each other. She probably knows me better than I know myself.

She compliments me very well...kind of like a marriage, but not. She has an incredible sense of humor (she is my friend, after all) but it is much more "sophisticated" than my own. I'm not even sure if that's the word for it. I'm a goof ball, silly and will burst out in laughter at nothing in particular. But she has the one-liner humor and it cracks me up. She doesn't always burst out in laughter at nothing WITH me, but she does chuckle a little. She *gets* me and she still wants to be my friend after all these years!

Why? Because we find the same "kinds" of things funny. Like Tilly being a whale.

Or this photo shoot:

Photobucket Photobucket
Photobucket Photobucket

Why was it that on this particular day in Monterey, the only wind gusts were at the exact moment I snapped the picture so that Linda's bangs were flying in the air?

We finally got the best we could (the last one) but certainly not without laughing and having to recompose ourselves after each shot. And can I just say thank God for digital? If I had a film camera I would have one picture and Linda's bangs would be flying. Plus, someone's head might not even be IN the shot since I wouldn't have the groovy viewer that can flip around. Which, if that's true, why did it take 4 shots? The wind, people. The wind. Follow along.

Another reason we still remain friends? She used to listen to this, too:


It's true.

And another thing? She liked me when:


There really is no better friend. I dare you to find one. And since I know she will probably read this, I just want to tell her I love her. Even more than I love Rice Krispie Treats.

And she knows that's a lot.

Another lovely comparison....

Remember the comparison photos of my daughter and David Beckham? Or me and Beaker from the Muppets?

Yeah. I've got another great one.

As I'm sitting here watching the news, a tidbit about presidential candidate Jim McCain's visit to Fresno came on. Apparently he is challenging Americans to come up with the battery to end all batteries...and wants to offer a $300 million reward to the inventor who does it.

I didn't catch the rest of the details because I suddenly became intrigued with this man's jowls. They are of mass proportions, don't you think? Then I remembered a recent photo session I had with my daughter.

And the google search began....enjoy!



(John McCain is the one in the cartoon drawing...just in case you didn't know)

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Ahhhh! A Day In The Life

This post is mainly for anyone who may want to feel better about their own day. I will preface this post by saying in the big picture of things I realize this day wasn't HORRIBLE. I have had much worse. I won't'll just have to trust me on that one.

I explained in a previous post a little about my job and the shift work situation. I mentioned 12-hour shifts and a snippet of what I actually DO. Today was a day-shift for me (my third in a row...and the previous two very stressful) which means I wake up at 4:30 a.m. to be at work by 5:30 a.m. to work 12 hours.

So with that, let's just review:

4:10 am: Wake up NOT to the alarm clock but to my very upset stomach. We will not embrace that any further.

5:05 am: My cell phone rings. This is NEVER good at 5:05 in the morning...unless it is work and I have somehow reset my alarm clock and am actually 1 hour behind. I look at who the caller is and see it is my daughter. 2 hours away. Staying at my mother's house while my husband is on the coast with a friend. Instant panic. I answer to the sounds of sobbing as she tells me her tooth is killing her and is there ANYTHING she can do? (She was scheduled to have an x-ray on Tuesday to determine if she needed a root canal. I will not go in to detail about her current dentist and what an idiot I think he is at this moment for not just doing the $*&#&@ x-ray himself to discover what the problem was. I guess that was enough detail, wasn't it?) I tell her I will call my bff (best friend forever for you non-texting/message board people) to see if her good friend (a dentist) can see her first thing this morning. I tell her to take 3 advil, get an ice pack and try to go back to bed.

5:15 am: As I approach my car to leave for work, I notice my gas cover is open on my car. Hmmm. As I inspect it further I see the gas cap itself laying on my driveway next to the wheel. Hmmm. I HAD a 1/2 tank of gas which is approximately $35 in my car these days. I closed it all back up, got in the car to check the gas gage, then promptly cursed as I knew I would be late for work. I then promptly apologized to God for cursing because I needed his help to get to the gas station so I could get to work.

5:25 am: I call work to let him know I will be late and why. He laughs. I hung up on him. (Not really)

6:10 am: I text my bff and tell her to call when she wakes up.

6:45 am: The nastiness of my work day begins as it is a VERY HOT day and there will be some unusually high energy usage for the day.

7:05 am: Remember how I woke up today? Yeah.

7:20 am: My bff calls to see what I want. I tell her the Lindsay predicament. She is on board to help figure something out...even though she is moving this weekend. This is just one of 42,758 reasons why she is my bff. Yes. I have a list of reasons totaling that exact amount.

7:45 am: Stupid people at work to deal with over the phone. There seems to be a trend with people we do business with lately: they are all new, had no training and totally expect for us to train them in the heat of the moment.

7:50 am: More stupid people (No, Gene. It was not you.)

9:20 am: Bff calls back. Her dentist friend is not answering the phone at home or his cell. She has called her own dentist and he is out of town for the weekend and left nobody in charge of emergencies. She tried a third place and I can't remember the circumstance of why it wouldn't work. I think I don't remember because I was trying to take care of 4 other things that the stupid people did incorrectly because they didn't listen to me as I tried to "train" them. She is out of options because she has no phone book. It is packed.

9:30 am: Bff calls back. She walked in to the grocery store and saw a rack with phone books and found a dentist that does weekend/evening emergency work and should she call them? Yes! Thank you!

9:32 am: Bff calls back. She left a message.

9:40 am: Bff calls back while I am dealing with more stupid people. The assistant called back and wants to get info and have Lindsay in the office if she can get there in 20 minutes. I get the phone number from her so she can stop being the middle man at this point.

9:45 am: Work starts getting VERY VERY BUSY. And in the middle of it I manage to call my mom to get Lindsay up, find my son to give her a ride (he just HAPPENED to be in Red Bluff), call the assistant, arrange for Lindsay to be in the office by 10:30, give a fax number for forms...all in about 7 minutes. Just call me the multitasking queen.

9:55 am: My middle child calls me. Lindsay is in the background yelling at him. They begin arguing AT THE TOP OF THEIR LUNGS while I am still on the phone with him wondering how the stupid people got in to the minds of my children. I hung up on him. (Yes. Really)

8:00 am to where we are in the story now: Remember how I woke up today? Yeah. Multitasking queens have needs, too.

10:12 am: WORK CONTINUES TO GET BUSIER AND BUSIER. I go to the fax in the other room, grab it, fill out the 5 pages of "new patient" crap and fax it back while the assistant is getting things ready for the x-rays of Lindsay's tooth for the dentist to review.

11:15 am: Assistant calls back. Says Lindsay has an infection, cracked tooth, and will probably need a root canal. Dentist has called in a prescription to start the ball rolling. Will see her this afternoon to drain it and do some other important dental things that the stupid people who kept calling me with work didn't care about. The stupid people are REALLY starting to irritate me now.

(Insert a few more chats with the actual dentist, more phone calls from stupid people, and lots and lots and lots of work)

5:53 pm: I'm finally logging off my computer at work, my relief wishes he hadn't even shown up because it's so busy, Lindsay is drugged up/sore/recovering, and I get in my car and head for home.

I can't wait for tomorrow.

Thursday, June 19, 2008


Is this dog just too stinkin' adorable, OR WHAT?!

This is Tilly. My daughter "acquired" her after months of looking at her pitiful face in the backyard of my in-laws. Almost immediately after my mother-in-law brought Tilly home, she got sick and couldn't house train Tilly and the poor thing ended up outside. In the backyard. Behind a fence. In the rain and cold. I mean, who could resist this face?


So just after new year's my mother-in-law let Lindsay take Tilly home for a "visit". The visit has officially lasted just over 5 months...and counting. They are very, very happy together! (Please ignore the Flashdance wannabe and focus on the cute canine)


But as SERIOUSLY CUTE as this dog is, she has a tiny problem. Okay, it's not so tiny. SHE is tiny. The problem? Not so tiny.

She has some serious halitosis. We are talking big time foul breath, people. BIG, bad fetor oris. Yuck mouth. Yes. From this tiny thing comes the most gut wrenching smell ever.

I think she is slightly self-conscious.


We've tried lots of things: teeth cleaning, dog biscuits, chewy bones, different dog food and...ready?....listerine breath tabs. Yes. I know.

Nothing has worked.

So we just keep her at a safe distance. But that's hard because we all want to just love up on her. But, ugh! That nasty breath! And like I said, I'm sure the poor little gal is all self-conscious about the foulness of it all. It doesn't take that many turns of the head and "UGH! TILLY!" to know something is wrong with the hygiene. I thought all hope was lost.

Until I went to Monterey Bay this past week.

I know. You are wondering where my thought process is going with all of this. Just stay with me. I promise it will make sense.

My best friend treated me to a wonderful few days in Monterey, complete with whale watching.


This is a picture I took of two whales surfacing and blowing water out of their blow holes. It was a sight to behold. Honestly. I marveled at them. And as the boat continued drifting, we drifted right through the very spot where the whales had surfaced. And it stunk mighty bad. We were informed the smell was from the spewed water out of the whales.

They called it whale's breath.

I looked at my best friend and said, quite seriously, "Tilly is a whale." It makes perfect sense. Don't you think?


Wednesday, June 4, 2008

My Hunk 'O Burnin' Love....

I love him. I really, really, really do.


He really used to hate my camera in his face all the time. But he humors me now and just smiles nice for the camera.

He smiles nice for the camera....


Nice for the......


Nice for....


Forget it. At least I got one good one, right? I guess I should try the photo session before the Tequilla consumption next time.
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